Only When I Laugh....

The Fun Begins Here!


"Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine."

"Out of my mind.  Back in five minutes."

"Cover me.  I'm changing lanes."

"As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools"

"Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other times I let her sleep"

"I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather.... ...Not screaming and yelling like his passengers...."

"Montana --- At least our cows are sane!"

"Your kid may be an honor student but you're still an IDIOT!"

"When you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case heaven is like the IRS."

"Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!"

"Give me ambiguity or give me something else."

"We are born naked, wet and hungry.  Then things get worse."

"Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot."

"He who laughs last thinks slowest"

"Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else."

"Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes."

"Consciousness: that annoying time between naps."

"The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette."

"Be nice to your kids.  They'll choose your nursing home."

"Why is 'abbreviation' such a long word?"

"Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?"

"Sex on television can't hurt you unless you fall off."