The Travelling Salesman's Parrot...
There was this jealous travelling salesman who had a very lovey wife. He did not want her to be home alone, so he decided to buy her a talking parrot to keep her company.
At the pet store there was only one parrot and the owner would not sell the parrot because he had no legs.
"How does he stay on the perch?" asked the Travelling man.
"He wraps his penis around it." said the pet shop owner.
"Thats OK as long as he can talk." said the Salesman.
"Oh, he talks very well." assured the owner.
Satisfied the salesman took the bird home to his wife and soon after went on a sales trip. When he got home, he talked to the parrot and asked him: "How was it while I was away?"
"Everything was fine, until the man from next door came over." said the parrot.
"Oh, what happened?" asked the salesman.
"Well they had a dinner, and then sat down on the couch." said the parrot.
"What happened next?" asked the salesman.
"They moved in close together"
"Uh-huh?"
"Then he put his arm around her"
"Then?"
"He put his hand on her knee"
"Then?"
"He moved his hand under her dress"
"After that?"
"Well I don't know," said the parrot, "because I fell off my perch, hit my head and got knocked out."