Only When I Laugh....

The Fun Begins Here!

Memo - New Task Codes

It has come to our attention recently that many of you have been turning in time sheets that specify large amounts of Miscellaneous Unproductive Time (code 5309). To our department, unproductive time is not a problem. What is a problem, however, is not knowing exactly what you are doing with your unproductive time. The newly installed Activity Based Costing Financial System requires additional information to achieve its goals. Attached below is a sheet specifying a tentative extended job code list based on our observations of employee activities. The list will allow you to specify with better precision what you are doing during your unproductive time.

Please begin using this job code list immediately and let us know about any difficulties you may encounter.

  Code#  Explanation
     5000 Surfing the Net
     5001 Reading/Writing Social Email
     5002 Sharing Social E-Mail (see codes #5003, #5004)
     5003 Collecting Jokes and Other Humorous Material via E-Mail
     5004 Forwarding Jokes and Other Humorous Material via E-Mail
     5005 Faxing Jokes and Other Humorous Material to Friends not on E-Mail
     5316 Meeting
     5317 Obstructing Communications at Meeting
     5318 Trying to sound knowledgeable while in Meeting
     5319 Waiting for Break
     5320 Waiting for Lunch
     5321 Waiting for End of Day
     5322 Vicious Verbal Attacks Directed at Coworker
     5323 Vicious Verbal Attacks Directed at Coworker while Coworker Is Not Present
     5393 Covering for Incompetence of Coworker Friend
     5400 Trying to Explain Concept to Coworker Who Is Not Interested in Learning
     5401 Trying to Explain Concept to Coworker Who is Stupid
     5402 Trying to Explain Concept to Coworker Who Hates Me
     5481 Buying Snack
     5482 Eating Snack
     5500 Filling Out Time Sheet
     5501 Inventing Time Sheet Entries
     5502 Waiting for Something to Happen
     5503 Scratching Myself
     5504 Sleeping
     5510 Feeling Bored
     5600 Bitching about Lousy Job (see code #5610)
     5601 Bitching about Low Pay (see code #5610)
     5602 Bitching about Long Hours (see code #5610)
     5603 Bitching about Coworker (see codes #5322, #5323)
     5604 Bitching about Boss (see code #5610)
     5605 Bitching about Personal Problems
     5610 Searching for a New Job
     5640 Miscellaneous Unproductive Bitching
     5701 Not Actually Present at Job
     5702 Suffering from Eight-Hour Flu
     6102 Ordering Out
     6103 Waiting for Food Delivery to Arrive
     6104 Taking it Easy while Digesting Food
     6200 Using Company Resources for Personal Profit
     6201 Stealing Company Goods
     6202 Making Excuses after Accidentally Destroying Company Goods
     6203 Using Company Phone to Make Long-Distant Personal Calls
     6206 Gossiping
     6207 Planning a Social Event
     6210 Feeling Sorry for Myself
     6221 Pretending to Work While Boss is Watching
     6222 Pretending to Enjoy My Job
     6223 Pretending I Like My Coworkers
     6224 Pretending I Like Important People When in Reality They Are Jerks
     6238 Miscellaneous Unproductive Fantasizing
     6601 Running my Own Business on Company Time (see code #6603)
     6602 Complaining
     6603 Writing a Book on Company Time
     6604 Planning a Vacation on Company Time
     6611 Staring Into Space
     6612 Staring at Computer Screen
     6615 Transcendental Meditation
     7281 Extended Trip to the Bathroom (at least 10 min.)
     7400 Talking with Divorce Lawyer on Phone
     7401 Talking with Plumber on Phone
     7402 Talking with Dentist on Phone
     7403 Talking with Doctor on Phone
     7404 Talking with Masseuse on Phone
     7405 Talking with House Painter on Phone
     7406 Talking with Personal Therapist on Phone
     7419 Talking with Miscellaneous Paid Professional on Phone
     7425 Talking with Mistress/Toyboy on Phone (also see code #7400)
     7931 Asking Coworker to Aid Me in an Illicit Activity
     8000 Recreational Drug Use
     9000 Working out how to dispense with employee who is incompetent